JT
I know just how you feel I think. For me, I really can't not feel what I'm going through. It masks itself in a lot of different things....anger, depression, a new pair of shoes. The problem with feeling like I am always the strong one is.......who's going to be there for me?
Time and time again, no one is. I am the one with the answers, the caretaker, the one who helps everyone. When I am hit with the same thing as everyone else around me, just like in your situation.....that's when I feel it most. I try to offer support to everyone but it seems no one understands how to walk through the pain and make some sense out of it. It would just be nice once and a while to receive that support from my family. It's a very lonely and scary feeling and I have had to learn a few lessons. Initially I have had to learn to seek outside support from the program and from SR
I have gained a lot of knowledge and a lot of coping skills because I feel things very deeply. I find most people like to escape their feelings. I analyze them to death and then read the latest book on how to deal with it. It's my nature and in a way it's my curse. However, sometimes, after a good cry, I can begin to see it as a gift. I have had to learn to help myself, support myself, and parent myself. I have also opened my self up a little more to God because of it.
I have always been "co-dependent" feeding off of and reacting to what is happening to others around me. I am learning to be "in-dependent" It's scary but it's growth.
I am not sure if you feel similar but your post touched me very deeply and made me think of the issues I spoke about which I struggle with quite frequently.
I have trouble crying, but a movie always works for me too. It doesn't even have to be sad, I always think the end of movies are always touching. If you really want a tear jerker sad movie....Antwone fisher or The Hours.