The workers at the access centre are supposed to be close by at all times to make sure XAH doesn't have inappropriate conversations with the kids.
I'd recommend contacting a supervisor at the access centre. This broke the rules - on your A's part as well as the supervision the centre is to provide.
As for your A not really knowing who you are - I can totally relate to that too. I have found for me that through all of the harsh name calling, the blame game, etc - the thing that always hurt me was the worst was when XAH would say things that essentially were slamming on my character. My character being "who I am". I don't know if my XAH really did know me or not, if he just uses that crap in slamming on me as a tool for his manipulation and guilt playing - and really I don't care anymore. But it took me awhile before I got to where I didn't care. It hurt so bad. Believe me, I understand.
Please remember that your recovery is about you. Don't let him keep getting to you (I know, easier said than done) but you know the truth of who you are so don't let him take that from you. Keep on recovering girl - it's all about YOU!
Sending you tons of hugs and lending my shoulder to catch your tears....
but sweetie, he's just not worth them!