Stephanie, Please go onto Amazon.com & look for the book Toxic Parents - Overcoming Thier Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life. In the end of the book it talks about confrontation. Placing the responsibility were it belongs. You are responsible for your actions & feelings but you WERE NOT responsible for you parents hurtful acts. They need to be held accountable for those acts. It also talks about boundries & emotional detachment & about "non confrontational language"....EXP "I'm sorry you feel that way but I will not allow you to speak to me in that tone/disrespect me " or "I can see your upset I will continue with this conversation at a later time"....this way you have controol of your emotions and aren't baited into an argument that will leave you emotionally drained. Its a good book. It brings reality to focus.