Hi Layla,
If I haven't said it before welcome to our corner of recovery.
I've read a couple of your posts this morning and I think the thing that has helped me the most with the kinds of things you're talking about is to live my life in the present moment. I seem to be best able to find my real self in the right here, right now. If I'm caught up in what's going to happen or what happened in the past, I find myself reacting to those "realities" instead of experiencing today. Good Luck to you!!