pawprints,
maybe there are other options and treatments than what you now are aware of. Yours sounds like a condition of multiple diagnosis', which being clear of alcohol will only help.
You mentioned anxiety and that you self-medicate with alcohol. Right there is a good awareness to pay attention to. If you find some good support and medical help, you never have to drink or feel this way again. I used to suffer from fears, anxiety and depression while drinking was part of my life.
Fear and anxiety has left me. It requires the courage to change, and the help of others to keep us going when we lose the will to live and stay the course though.
We are here to support you always. So are your practitioners.
Take the best care of yourself and dont drink for today~
love,
mc