but something weird happens to me when I'm having withdrawls.
Yep it's called DT's. Mine were space aliens and creatures, God it was awful. Some people get 'things' crawling on them.
Koruptdata you may be only 19 but obviously you have a problem with alcohol.
Yes there is life without drinking. As a matter of fact a GREAT LIFE without drinking.
I personally used AA to learn how to live sober. Check around this site. There are lots of good suggestions.
I do however recommend that you try and get some sober people in your life that you can grow and change with.
Welcome to SR. Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing, we do care.
Love and hugs,