hi pawprints..
let me assure you there IS life after alcohol although at only 19 you might not think so.
why not just do a 3 month trial without any alcohol and see if your hallucinosis clears up ?
from what i can gather from your posts you have nothing to lose and all to gain and.. if at the end of your 3 month trial you dont feel any better then all the bars/alcohol will still be waiting for you.
mp