I came by here recently, then left. And I am evidently back...
I saw my psychiatrist the other day and I *have* to give up alcohol. Well, I don't HAVE to, no one HAS to... no one can force me unless they just lock me in a room. But you know what I mean.
He said I might have alcoholic hallucinosis... so I have to give up to see if it is the drink that is causing my mental issues. Plus, he said I must be killing my liver.
If I don't comply, I doubt I'll ever be able to drive again. I've already been car-less for a year now. And you'd think that'd be enough motivation to get me to stop... but you know what I'm honestly considering choosing the alcohol over my car and my health.
But I have to stop... and apparently some kind of alcohol intervention help place is going to contact me within the next 2 weeks... I'm kinda scared because I simply cannot imagine a life without alcohol... they are going to take alcohol from me, and give me nothing in its place. All the doctors have flat out said they do not know what is wrong with me and even my therapist said he wasn't capable of giving me the "intensity" of psychotherapy that I need and he is basically just acting as a kinda regular point of contact between me and the docs, checking up on me, because (quote) "everyone else just seems to be sitting back waiting for something to happen". And, I haven't even told him about the thing that possibly gets to me the most in life
The docs call me a 'mystery' and 'interesting' and poke and prod me, and a year on they still have no idea what is wrong.
Maybe it is down to the alcohol, I guess this is the first really constructive thing they have suggested!!!
So... has anyone else had this alcoholic hallucinosis thing?