The God Illusion
Has anyone read the current bestseller The God Illusion by Richard Dawkins. I read this book about 3 months ago and it totally turned my world upside down.In this book, one of the worlds top scientists proves how God almost surely does not exist.I am a Christian but after that book I was totally depressed and confused. I have searched for any sensible rebuttals to his book and have not found any. Now I am trying to get clean and sober and have made it 30 days but it has been very choppy. I have made 7 major attempts to get clean and sober. These lasted anywhere from 3 months to 18 months. I never reached a place in my sobriety where being clean became a more attractive option than returning to using. I am a 45 year old dad with two beautiful twin daughters 9 yrs old, a great wife, decent job,etc,etc...My drugs of choice are weed and alcohol.I am pretty much a binge drinker/smoker on weekends.In short a functioning alcoholic/addict. I am doing some things differently this time around. I am seeing a therapist once a week and slowly telling her my whole story. She thinks that until I come to terms with the emotional,physical, and sexual abuse I suffered when I was growing and stay sober I will never be free from it.She practices depth therapy and thinks that building relationships is the primary way to recover.Well the easiest way to build new relationships is going to na/aa. I am also building a meditation/yoga practice,exercising,etc. I want to incorporate 12 step work into my recovery but when i went to meetings in the past I kept seeing the same people telling the same stories. Its like in the movie groundhog day...I skip a couple years and when I go to a meeting its like yesterday.No one ever moves on or improves. Not a very compelling future to look forward to. I love the theory of the 12 steps but after reading that blasted book it is going to be even more problematic.At any rate I am moving forward with my recovery and trying to hold onto the belief that my quality of life is going to be so much better without using. That seems to be a universal truth. No matter that part of me is screaming for weed and a beer. No matter that my mind has me convinced that moderate use is preferable,its only weed,life is better when using, I will never ever think any thing differently, on and on and on. At any rate, I would greatly appreciate any feedback concerning my situation, esspecially any one else who has managed to get free from weed after abusing it for years and years.