View Single Post
Old 02-06-2007, 07:06 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
elizabeth1979
Acting not reacting
 
elizabeth1979's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: My happy place
Posts: 1,788
I wanted to type out the steps on breaking free of the pay/owe cycle, but its rather lengthy for my tired brain!

One of the steps is to Be Aware and be careful how I get myself indebted to others.
"Start to be painfully honest with yourself. Dont do things for others on a regular basis unless they are doing things for you on a regular basis, and then only if you are both doing them without expectation. The safest way to handle this in the beginning is to keep the relationship free of favors and gifts and transactoins such as these. Notice how you may seduce others into helping you by whining, acting helpless, or just by the mere mention that you are having a problem with the buttons on your coat or faucet on your sink."

This is hard for me. Im not so good at being realistic about my motives or others yet. Im better, but not real terrific!

Ive started really trying to do things for people that have zero ability to owe me. Such as helping at an animal shelter. Those animals are incapable of doing anything for me. Its helping me as I am getting a clearer picture of acting without expectations of return.
elizabeth1979 is offline