Concept 4: Participation is the key to harmony.
 

Last month this concept came to the forefront for me.

As I embrace it in new ways, I'm no longer feeling isolated.

We can find peace and happiness, whether the alcoholic is drinking or not.

I love this concept.

In my FOO (family of origin) I learned that participation had unspoken rules and conditions. As long as I lived by "the rules" I was acceptable. Because of others' superior and dominating ways I also learned to do some isolating and stuffing of my feelings.

In Al-Anon years later, I learned about participation with respect, instead of domination and manipulation. It's about accepting and letting go, allowing others to do it their way without my interference, without my investment in the outcome. It's about having a voice, and healthy boundaries, and knowing when to detach. And doing it with respect for all.

When I let go of all forms of one-upmanship, which can be subtly disguised as "kindness/caring," and when I participate with respect and tolerance of both self and others, it works. The sense of unity prevails and carries us through together in harmony as long as I keep my nose out of trying to influence the outcome.