The beginning of the end...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 17
The beginning of the end...
This months circle reached a semicircular point, honeymoon period lasted a day instead of 12. Today I feel like a deflating helium balloon caught in a slight whisp, zig zaging instead of the usual frantic thud to earth. No more shell shock, it hasnt tumbled for a while, instead, I feel the slow motion play, the numbness is definitely easier to cope with.
He chose drink over me. Ive had no answer, but in my heart I know. Ive finally 'hit the bottom" Today, he was told, I know he'll already be sourcing the next emotional contact not anyone in particular but a few. Ive seen it before. If he loves me he'll chose us. He wont. He won't no matter how much I want it. Today it doesnt hurt. I thanked him for letting me love him even if it was for a short time. I got nothing. Will get nothing. It hurts but not as bad as it has. Xx
He chose drink over me. Ive had no answer, but in my heart I know. Ive finally 'hit the bottom" Today, he was told, I know he'll already be sourcing the next emotional contact not anyone in particular but a few. Ive seen it before. If he loves me he'll chose us. He wont. He won't no matter how much I want it. Today it doesnt hurt. I thanked him for letting me love him even if it was for a short time. I got nothing. Will get nothing. It hurts but not as bad as it has. Xx
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 9,003
This is so, so sad. It isn't anyone's fault least of all yours.
Many of us have been there and it does get better but the time between the "hitting bottom" realization and the "better" that I mentioned is just excruciatingly hard. Please take care of yourself: stay hydrated, eat a vegetable every now and then and get a bit of exercise.
The best book I ever found was How to Survive the Loss of a Love. It is an easy, comforting read. And come here and post whenever you can!
Many of us have been there and it does get better but the time between the "hitting bottom" realization and the "better" that I mentioned is just excruciatingly hard. Please take care of yourself: stay hydrated, eat a vegetable every now and then and get a bit of exercise.
The best book I ever found was How to Survive the Loss of a Love. It is an easy, comforting read. And come here and post whenever you can!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 765
Hi
The alcoholic has lost the choice in drink. He has no choice. The good news for you is that it has nothing to do with you at all.
The only thing that has to do with us is that we accept that we are powerless over alcohol - that our lives have become unmanagable trying to control it, and that there is a power greater than ourselves that can restore us to sanity.
The great thing about being sick and tired of being sick and tired is that we are done trying to manage our own lives; we cannot do it anymore, apart from Divine help we are hopeless. We need help and help is available...it's in the 12 steps.
You never know where this journey could lead you
God bless
The alcoholic has lost the choice in drink. He has no choice. The good news for you is that it has nothing to do with you at all.
The only thing that has to do with us is that we accept that we are powerless over alcohol - that our lives have become unmanagable trying to control it, and that there is a power greater than ourselves that can restore us to sanity.
The great thing about being sick and tired of being sick and tired is that we are done trying to manage our own lives; we cannot do it anymore, apart from Divine help we are hopeless. We need help and help is available...it's in the 12 steps.
You never know where this journey could lead you
God bless
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Miami Florida
Posts: 4
I feel your pain and all I can say is try and keep your chin up. Stay busy, stay sane. I am in a similar spot where I just feel so powerless and all over the place and know you aren't alone. You did what you could. You have tried your best. You will get through this and things will be better.
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