The History of the Term, “Codependency”
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Join Date: Apr 2013
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The History of the Term, “Codependency”
The History of the Term, “Codependency”
To quote William Shakespeare, “What’s in a name?” Well, Mr. Shakespeare, in the mental health field, quite a bit! Correctly labeling mental health disorders is powerfully important to the person in their pursuit of seeking help to overcome their problems.
Even with the potential for misuse, such terms are required by the researcher, educator, practitioner and, most importantly, the patient to understand, identify and seek help for a specific mental health-related condition. Diagnoses or mental health terms, when not experienced as derogatory or belittling, have inherent power to lead distressed and suffering people to seek professional help, which has the capacity to be psychologically healing, transformational and even life-saving. Conversely, mental health terms that carry negative stereotypes or connote weakness and feebleness can cause grievous personal and psychological harm.
Like other misunderstood and misused psychological expressions, “codependency” has taken on a life of its own. Once it went mainstream, it was haphazardly and conveniently reshaped to fit our mainstream vocabulary. Since its introduction in the 1980’s, its meaning has unfortunately devolved to describe a weak, needy, clingy and even emotionally sick person. To some, it incorrectly is interpreted as a dependent person who is in a relationship with another dependent person. Thirty years later, the term “codependency” has become a caricature of its original meaning. This is so much the case that many therapists refrain from using it in clinical settings.
To understand the development of the term “codependency,” it is important to trace its origins. In 1936, Bill W. and Dr. Bob created the Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) movement. Prior to AA, alcoholism was attributed to a weakness in character and lack of personal motivation to stop it. Thanks to Bill and Dr. Bob, alcoholism was redefined as a disease over which the individual had little to no control. From AA, other 12-Step groups came into being. Thus started the myriad other life-enhancing and life-saving 12-Step groups.
In 1951, Lois W., wife of Bill W., and Anne B. founded Al-Anon, a 12-Step recovery program for the families and significant others of the alcoholic. It addressed the other side of the alcoholism coin – the suffering family members who, like the alcoholic, felt their lives were out of control and littered with obstacles and losses. According to the Al-Anon website (2013), “Al-Anon is a mutual support group of peers who share their experience in applying the Al-Anon principles to problems related to the effects of a problem drinker in their lives. It is not group therapy and is not led by a counselor or therapist; this support network complements and supports professional treatment.”
By the 1970s, alcohol treatment providers began to consider the limitations of the one-dimensionality of the medical treatment model, which typically just treated the alcoholic (treating the disease). As treatment centers began to embrace the emerging practice of treating alcoholism within the context of social networks and family relationships, partners of the alcoholic, or the co-alcoholic, and other family members were included in the treatment process. This practice yielded lower incidents of relapse and longer periods of sobriety.
Since drug addictions and alcoholism shared more similarities than differences, beginning in the early 1980s, various drug treatment programs adopted the term “chemical dependency,” as it better reflected the similarities between alcoholism (alcohol addiction) and other drug addictions. With a unifying diagnostic term, treatment for all chemical/drug addictions coalesced into a unified treatment paradigm, “chemical dependency.” To fit in with the changes, “co-alcoholism” was updated to “co-chemically dependent.” Being too much of a mouthful to say, it was shortened to “co-dependent.”
Early on, the term “codependency” described a person’s compulsive predilection to be in relationships with chemically dependent partners. According to S. Wegscheider-Cruise (1984), a person was considered codependent if they were (a) in a love or marital relationship with an alcoholic, (b) had one or more alcoholic parents or grandparents, or (c) were raised within an emotionally repressed family. Soon, “codependency” became the standard diagnostic term used for the chemically dependent individual’s partner or other individuals who enabled a chemically dependent friend/loved one. Hence, addiction treatment centers began to regularly provide treatment and/or support services to the partners of the addict and their family members. The primary focus of codependency treatment was to support the codependent during the treatment process, while facilitating care and understanding about their enabling role in the problem, or disease.
By the mid-1980s, thanks to many key advances within the chemical dependency and addiction treatment fields, the term codependency took on a more broadly understood meaning. It evolved to describe a person who was habitually attracted to or in a relationship with a narcissist and/or an addict. Codependents were understood to be people-pleasers who would reflexively sacrifice and care for others who would not care for them in return. They felt powerless to resist relationships with addicted, controlling and/or narcissistic individuals. It became evident that codependents came from all walks of life and were not necessarily only in relationships with addicted individuals.
Thanks to codependency authors like Melody Beattie, Claudia Black, John Friel, Terry Kellogg and Pia Melody, just to name a few, the term codependency finally saw the light of day. It came out of the closet and was no longer considered a shameful secret for which there was no help. These early books helped change the world’s attitude towards the partners of addicts or narcissists, who were no longer viewed as weak and defenseless victims who were powerless to leave their harmful and dysfunctional relationships.
Codependency is a problematic relationship orientation that involves the relinquishing of power and control to individuals who are either addicted or who are pathologically narcissistic. Codependents are attracted to people who neither seem interested nor motivated to participate in mutual or reciprocal relationships. Hence, the partners of codependents are often egotistical, self-centered and/or selfish. Typically, codependents feel unfulfilled, disrespected and undervalued by their relationship partner. As much as they resent and complain about the inequity in their relationships, codependents feel powerless to change them.
Thanks to many other committed writers and clinicians, codependency is still on the forefront of modern and cutting-edge mental health and addictions treatment. Understanding what “codependency” means and where it came from helps to keep hope alive for the partners of both addicts and narcissists.
Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC
Psychotherapist & National Seminar Trainer
To quote William Shakespeare, “What’s in a name?” Well, Mr. Shakespeare, in the mental health field, quite a bit! Correctly labeling mental health disorders is powerfully important to the person in their pursuit of seeking help to overcome their problems.
Even with the potential for misuse, such terms are required by the researcher, educator, practitioner and, most importantly, the patient to understand, identify and seek help for a specific mental health-related condition. Diagnoses or mental health terms, when not experienced as derogatory or belittling, have inherent power to lead distressed and suffering people to seek professional help, which has the capacity to be psychologically healing, transformational and even life-saving. Conversely, mental health terms that carry negative stereotypes or connote weakness and feebleness can cause grievous personal and psychological harm.
Like other misunderstood and misused psychological expressions, “codependency” has taken on a life of its own. Once it went mainstream, it was haphazardly and conveniently reshaped to fit our mainstream vocabulary. Since its introduction in the 1980’s, its meaning has unfortunately devolved to describe a weak, needy, clingy and even emotionally sick person. To some, it incorrectly is interpreted as a dependent person who is in a relationship with another dependent person. Thirty years later, the term “codependency” has become a caricature of its original meaning. This is so much the case that many therapists refrain from using it in clinical settings.
To understand the development of the term “codependency,” it is important to trace its origins. In 1936, Bill W. and Dr. Bob created the Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) movement. Prior to AA, alcoholism was attributed to a weakness in character and lack of personal motivation to stop it. Thanks to Bill and Dr. Bob, alcoholism was redefined as a disease over which the individual had little to no control. From AA, other 12-Step groups came into being. Thus started the myriad other life-enhancing and life-saving 12-Step groups.
In 1951, Lois W., wife of Bill W., and Anne B. founded Al-Anon, a 12-Step recovery program for the families and significant others of the alcoholic. It addressed the other side of the alcoholism coin – the suffering family members who, like the alcoholic, felt their lives were out of control and littered with obstacles and losses. According to the Al-Anon website (2013), “Al-Anon is a mutual support group of peers who share their experience in applying the Al-Anon principles to problems related to the effects of a problem drinker in their lives. It is not group therapy and is not led by a counselor or therapist; this support network complements and supports professional treatment.”
By the 1970s, alcohol treatment providers began to consider the limitations of the one-dimensionality of the medical treatment model, which typically just treated the alcoholic (treating the disease). As treatment centers began to embrace the emerging practice of treating alcoholism within the context of social networks and family relationships, partners of the alcoholic, or the co-alcoholic, and other family members were included in the treatment process. This practice yielded lower incidents of relapse and longer periods of sobriety.
Since drug addictions and alcoholism shared more similarities than differences, beginning in the early 1980s, various drug treatment programs adopted the term “chemical dependency,” as it better reflected the similarities between alcoholism (alcohol addiction) and other drug addictions. With a unifying diagnostic term, treatment for all chemical/drug addictions coalesced into a unified treatment paradigm, “chemical dependency.” To fit in with the changes, “co-alcoholism” was updated to “co-chemically dependent.” Being too much of a mouthful to say, it was shortened to “co-dependent.”
Early on, the term “codependency” described a person’s compulsive predilection to be in relationships with chemically dependent partners. According to S. Wegscheider-Cruise (1984), a person was considered codependent if they were (a) in a love or marital relationship with an alcoholic, (b) had one or more alcoholic parents or grandparents, or (c) were raised within an emotionally repressed family. Soon, “codependency” became the standard diagnostic term used for the chemically dependent individual’s partner or other individuals who enabled a chemically dependent friend/loved one. Hence, addiction treatment centers began to regularly provide treatment and/or support services to the partners of the addict and their family members. The primary focus of codependency treatment was to support the codependent during the treatment process, while facilitating care and understanding about their enabling role in the problem, or disease.
By the mid-1980s, thanks to many key advances within the chemical dependency and addiction treatment fields, the term codependency took on a more broadly understood meaning. It evolved to describe a person who was habitually attracted to or in a relationship with a narcissist and/or an addict. Codependents were understood to be people-pleasers who would reflexively sacrifice and care for others who would not care for them in return. They felt powerless to resist relationships with addicted, controlling and/or narcissistic individuals. It became evident that codependents came from all walks of life and were not necessarily only in relationships with addicted individuals.
Thanks to codependency authors like Melody Beattie, Claudia Black, John Friel, Terry Kellogg and Pia Melody, just to name a few, the term codependency finally saw the light of day. It came out of the closet and was no longer considered a shameful secret for which there was no help. These early books helped change the world’s attitude towards the partners of addicts or narcissists, who were no longer viewed as weak and defenseless victims who were powerless to leave their harmful and dysfunctional relationships.
Codependency is a problematic relationship orientation that involves the relinquishing of power and control to individuals who are either addicted or who are pathologically narcissistic. Codependents are attracted to people who neither seem interested nor motivated to participate in mutual or reciprocal relationships. Hence, the partners of codependents are often egotistical, self-centered and/or selfish. Typically, codependents feel unfulfilled, disrespected and undervalued by their relationship partner. As much as they resent and complain about the inequity in their relationships, codependents feel powerless to change them.
Thanks to many other committed writers and clinicians, codependency is still on the forefront of modern and cutting-edge mental health and addictions treatment. Understanding what “codependency” means and where it came from helps to keep hope alive for the partners of both addicts and narcissists.
Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC
Psychotherapist & National Seminar Trainer
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 1,405
To Summerize
1) In 1936, Bill and Dr. Bob, founded AA and redefined alcoholism from being a weakness in character and lack of personal motivation to being a medical disease.
2) In 1951, Bills wife Lois, and Anne B. founded AlAnon to help the suffering family members of alcoholics.
3) In the 1970's treatment providers began to include the social network, family relationships, partners (also called the co-alcoholic) into the treatment process.
4) In the 1980's treatment providers adopted the term "chemical dependency" to distinguish it from alcoholism. Therefore they updated the term co-alcoholic to "co-chemically dependent" which was then shortened to just codependent.
5) People who are codependent are in relationships with people who are not interested in participating in mutual or reciprocal relationships. The partners of codependents are often egotistical, self-centered and/or selfish.
6) Codependents typically feel unfulfilled, disrespected and undervalued by their relationship partner. They resent and complain about the inequity in their relationships, codependents feel powerless to change them.
Being codependent is no more something to be ashamed of than being a diabetic, or an addict, or someone with Parkinson's disease.
2) In 1951, Bills wife Lois, and Anne B. founded AlAnon to help the suffering family members of alcoholics.
3) In the 1970's treatment providers began to include the social network, family relationships, partners (also called the co-alcoholic) into the treatment process.
4) In the 1980's treatment providers adopted the term "chemical dependency" to distinguish it from alcoholism. Therefore they updated the term co-alcoholic to "co-chemically dependent" which was then shortened to just codependent.
5) People who are codependent are in relationships with people who are not interested in participating in mutual or reciprocal relationships. The partners of codependents are often egotistical, self-centered and/or selfish.
6) Codependents typically feel unfulfilled, disrespected and undervalued by their relationship partner. They resent and complain about the inequity in their relationships, codependents feel powerless to change them.
Being codependent is no more something to be ashamed of than being a diabetic, or an addict, or someone with Parkinson's disease.
Last edited by greeteachday; 06-11-2014 at 02:41 PM. Reason: fix a typo
Getting there!!
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Being codependent is no more something to be ashamed of than being a diabetic, or an addict, or someone with Parkinson's disease.
People can say they are not codependent all day long but that doesn't make it so. Like an addict, denial and ego can be very dangerous.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Thank you from me too, C.O. For me, it was a relief to find out I wasn't crazy, I was codependent and more relieved to know there was a program to help ME, no matter how my addicted loved one made out with theirs.
People can mock Codependency or the term Codependent, just like they can mock "drunks" or "junkies", but the sad truth is that those who mock most are mostly those who need help too and simply refuse to admit it.
For me, the problem was never about me admitting being codependent, it was about me thinking that anything I did or did not do would "fix" my addicted son.
I learned early in the game to share my program and recovery with those who understand because they have been there, or with newcomers who can learn from my own experience, strength and hope. I kept it all low key with my friends who had never been touched by addiction, simply because I find it hard to explain to anyone who hasn't been there.
Sadly, over time, many of my friends found out for themselves, what addiction was and how it destroys families. Two friends had daughters who got all the way to heroin before my friends even knew there was a problem, and another lost her son to an overdose and she thought he was just going through a phase, a part of growing up. Her son will never grow up now and her life has crumbled around her.
Thanks to CoDA, Al-anon, Nar-anon and other support programs, many, like me, have found a way to put our lives back together and live well. When I was in the darkest stages of my codependency, I could not imagine living for even one day, one entire day, in peace without chaos, fear or anticipation of terrible things happening. I remember thinking that I would sell my soul for just one day where my adrenaline didn't pump wildly as I "reacted" to what went on around me. One day of peace and beauty and serenity was beyond my wildest imagination...until I saw it in the rooms. When I listened to people who had been through far worse than I had, as they shared with a calmness and inner peace about how they overcame the heartache and stress that they had lived with for years. I wanted what they had and I wanted it more than I had ever wanted anything in my life.
Thanks to my groups, my program and wonderful people like you, CO, I found my peace and today I embrace the beauty of every day and live life with a zest I didn't know was possible. I am happier and healthier and enjoying life more in my 60's than I ever did before.
Codependent is not a shameful label, it is one of recognition of our wounds and our willingness to heal them.
Thank you for sharing this and making me think about why I am glad to be alive today.
Hugs
People can mock Codependency or the term Codependent, just like they can mock "drunks" or "junkies", but the sad truth is that those who mock most are mostly those who need help too and simply refuse to admit it.
For me, the problem was never about me admitting being codependent, it was about me thinking that anything I did or did not do would "fix" my addicted son.
I learned early in the game to share my program and recovery with those who understand because they have been there, or with newcomers who can learn from my own experience, strength and hope. I kept it all low key with my friends who had never been touched by addiction, simply because I find it hard to explain to anyone who hasn't been there.
Sadly, over time, many of my friends found out for themselves, what addiction was and how it destroys families. Two friends had daughters who got all the way to heroin before my friends even knew there was a problem, and another lost her son to an overdose and she thought he was just going through a phase, a part of growing up. Her son will never grow up now and her life has crumbled around her.
Thanks to CoDA, Al-anon, Nar-anon and other support programs, many, like me, have found a way to put our lives back together and live well. When I was in the darkest stages of my codependency, I could not imagine living for even one day, one entire day, in peace without chaos, fear or anticipation of terrible things happening. I remember thinking that I would sell my soul for just one day where my adrenaline didn't pump wildly as I "reacted" to what went on around me. One day of peace and beauty and serenity was beyond my wildest imagination...until I saw it in the rooms. When I listened to people who had been through far worse than I had, as they shared with a calmness and inner peace about how they overcame the heartache and stress that they had lived with for years. I wanted what they had and I wanted it more than I had ever wanted anything in my life.
Thanks to my groups, my program and wonderful people like you, CO, I found my peace and today I embrace the beauty of every day and live life with a zest I didn't know was possible. I am happier and healthier and enjoying life more in my 60's than I ever did before.
Codependent is not a shameful label, it is one of recognition of our wounds and our willingness to heal them.
Thank you for sharing this and making me think about why I am glad to be alive today.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 923
Thank you...this explanation is so much clearer than any I have ever learned before...and as I understand more...my recovery work works better for me...as I work on more exact definitions rather than trying to figure out what they mean. Won't surprise anyone that I am very visual...this is clarifying things I either never read or did in 'talk therapy' and didn't really understand.
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