The Al-Anon Do's and Don'ts
 

The Al-Anon Do's and Don'ts

DO:
•Do forgive
•Do be humble
•Do take it easy — tension is harmful
•Do play — find recreation and hobbies
•Do keep on trying whenever you fail
•Do learn the facts about alcoholism
•Do attend Al-Anon meetings often
•Do pray

DON'T:•Don't be self-righteous
•Don't try to dominate, nag, scold and complain
•Don't lose your temper
•Don't try to push anyone but yourself
•Don't keep bringing up the past
•Don't keep checking up on the alcoholic
•Don't wallow in self-pity
•Don't make threats you don't intend to carry out
•Don't be over-protective
•Don't be a doormat

When I came to the rooms of recovery

I had more to do than that..I had to learn to become willing, cause I just wasn't.

I found out recovery for me was not going to be a list of Do's and Don'ts all by itself It was going to be a process and it was going to take longer to recover than it did to become sick (of course no body told me all that..to begin with) But they told me I was powerless..(certainly was not going to accept that at face value). I said there Must be something I can do..

They pretty much gave me your list, but told me it would be like peeling an onion, Things would come and come off in layers, but that IF I kept at it and IF I could keep an open mind . . . everything on that list was doable (not easy, just doable). Then they gave me a list of "promises" and that's what I wanted and that's why I stayed..

From Survival to Recovery p 269-70

"If we willingly surrender ourselves to the spiritual discipline of The Twelve Steps and work the program, our lives will be transformed. Members work the program by being willing to attend meetings on a regular basis, reading Al-Anon/Alateen literature, getting a sponsor, working toward applying the 12 Steps of recovery to their lives and by becoming involved in Al-Anon Service work as they begin to recover.

1. We will become mature, responsible individuals with a great capacity for joy, fulfillment, and wonder. Though we may never be perfect, continued spiritual progress will reveal to us our enormous potential.

2. We will discover that we are both, worthy of love and loving. We will love others without losing ourselves, and will learn to accept love in return.

3. Our sight, once clouded and confused, will clear and we will be able to perceive reality and recognize truth

4. Courage and fellowship will replace fear. We will be able to risk failure to develop new hidden talents.

5. Our lives, no matter how battered and degraded, will yield hope to share with others.

6. We will begin to feel and will come to know the vastness of our emotions, but will not be slaves to them.

7. Our secrets will no longer bind us in shame.

8. As we gain the ability to forgive our families, the world, and ourselves our choices will expand.

9. With dignity we will stand for ourselves, but not against our fellows.

10. Serenity and peace will have meaning for us, as we allow our lives and the lives of those we love to flow day by day with Gods ease, balance, and grace.

11. No longer terrified, we will discover we are free to delight in lifes paradox, mystery, and awe.

12. We will laugh more.

13. Fear will be replaced by faith, and gratitude will come naturally as we realize that our Higher Power is doing for us what we cannot do for ourselves.

Can we really grow to such proportions? Only if we accept life as a continuing process of maturation and evolution toward wholeness. Then we suddenly begin to notice these gifts appearing. We see them in those who walk beside us. Sometimes slowly or haltingly, occasionally in great bursts of brilliance, those who work The Steps change and grow toward light, toward health, and toward their Higher Power. Watching others, we realize this is also possible for us.

Will we ever arrive? Feel joyful all the time? Have no cruelty, tragedy, or injustice to face? Probably not, but we will acquire growing acceptance of our human fallibility, as well as greater love and tolerance for each other. Self-pity, resentment, martyrdom, rage, and depression will fade into memory. Community rather than loneliness will define our lives. We will know that we belong, we are welcome, we have something to contribute, and that is enough."

From the AFG book From Survival to Recovery