Hi Cindy31,
Welcome!!
I agree that finding a sponsor and allowing that sponsor to guide you through the steps (all of them) is usually how it goes...and from my experience, it's most effective. Yet, I've also heard of members being sponsored by the group until a sponsor can be found. Getting a sponsor can be difficult when there aren't many meetings available or when there aren't members with sufficient step work experience or willingness available. It reminds me of the times when I was looking for my DOC and had to go searching all over the place to get what I wanted. I think the same principle applies when looking for a sponsor.
When I was new, I asked at least 5 or 6 guys to sponsor me before I found one. I went through the process of attending meetings daily and listening to other members share. When I saw someone I thought I could relate to, I asked them how much time they had clean and whether they had completed the steps. If they had considerable clean time, been through the steps and were willing to take on a new sponsee...these are the ones we look for. Being willing to dedicate their time and share their experience is very important. I wouldn't want someone to say yes, then never be available for me.
As already suggested, the IP on Sponsorship pretty much outlines what we need to do to get a sponsor. The key is not giving up and continue to look and listen. I really don't believe in online sponsorship because it isn't personal enough for me. One-on-one (face to face), men with men and women with women is what works best.