Adore...great post. I am going through the same phase in my recovery (from the same past you just described!). I went to my first al-anon meeting on New Year's Day and have been going to 2-3 meetings a week. Tuesday night I cried for the first time through the entire meeting, through my entire share, all the way home, and cried for a good amount of time when I got home. Then I stopped. Then I felt so darn good! A huge weight was lifted. I felt like I was feeling everything for the first time. My past collided with my present and I was sent reeling. I am so glad I was able to let so much go. I have plenty left, but it is a start and I woke up Wednesday morning with my first little bit of serenity! yay!
Many blessings to you! Thanks for sharing!