i found the feeling that i felt i was owed was partly to the fact of this, i had emotional needs as a child that were not met by my parents for whatvever reason. i looked so long, tried so long to be loved (as a child). the most painful thing i accept in recovery every day at the moment is that i can never be loved, as a child, because i am now an adult, (physically). the most i can do is parent myself, but i can only ever receive love as an adult, never as a child. my rebellious demand for payment came from self-respect. because i love myself i was angry that i had been NEGLECTED. i tried to find my "parents" so i could emotionally develop. god has been a great halp in that and so have i myself, reparenting myself.
a really good book called "i could do anything if only i knew what it was" i think by barbara sher is fantastic for this stuff, esp the chapter "A rage against the ordinary."
when im stuck in childhood, i cant be present in my adult self and thus cant have adult relationships with other ADULT adult humans. i had to let go of my inner child, whilst honouring him in safety, respect and love SO THAT my adult self could grow.