I just wish so badly he would realise what is going on.
This is only a thought but, realization goes both ways.... what are you realizing from all this? He does not want help and he does not think you have a problem. You know how frustrated you get trying to get him to go to counceling??? That is probably how frustrated he gets trying to tell you he does not have a problem and he will not do it. You will drive yourself mad trying to control the situation.
Take the focus off him hon ... what are you doing today to correct your situation???