You know though..... That was a blessing sweetie. It might not feel like it now but maybe God is just doing for you what you cant do for yourself. What if this was a few years down the road and you had a child???
There is no reason you cant love him, the trick is loving yourself more and not allowing someone to treat you that way. As time goes by it will get better, I had to go with no contact though .... I know he just messes with my head and I could not allow him near me or to talk to me while I healed. If I were to see him today I dont think it would effect me... not that Im going to try it.