Hi there Lisa, and welcome to SoberRecovery.
I'm truly sorry that you are going thru such hardships. My life was also a huge mess as a result of all the "stuff" I went thru as a child. I think your being sober for 8 years speaks volumes to your strength of character and willingess to make a good life for yourself. Are you going to meets of AA in England? I have never been there but I've heard that there is great recovery there. They are listed in the phonebook, and if you ask them they will even send somebody to give you a lift to the nearest meet.
I found AA to be extremely helpful in helping me straighten out my life. I also went to counseling and meets of ACoA and al-anon.
You mention that you had a great job and a great flat in England when you first arrived there from Australia, so you know that you _can_ have a good life. All I know about you is what you have shared, but it seems to me that you do a fine job of taking care of your life until you get involved with a man. I understand how that happens, I used to have the same problem with relationships, they just completely messed up my head and I would make the _stupidest_ decisions.
You don't need to apologize for writing an opus, we all do when we first arrive here. Feel free to write as much as you want. We're here to listen.
Mike
