Tears came to my eyes reading your replies. Not "pity me" tears, but I'm just so overwhelmed with relief. I wish so badly that some of you lived near me. I'd say, "let's go grab some coffee" or lets just get together, do something relaxing and forget about the DRAMA!!! *sniffles*. I have been trying to find local meetings, but can't seem to. I called the hotline...gee...an answering service that'll call YOU back. Nice. I've been desperately wanting to check a few out. I called home about an hour ago and could hear the alcohol in his voice. I asked him about it, and he didn't lie. But I still faught back the tears and tried to control my ever-shaky hands. It's frustrating.
I have friends. But they're "family". It's always a friend of my b/f or a friend of my sister's or a friend of my bro-in-laws. But there's nobody in my life down here that I can say "I'm going out with MY friend" I feel so lonely so often. Everytime I go to my sisters (one of my best friends) while he's off at work or something, when he gets home he makes sure to call me and tell me how horrible he's feeling and what a horrible day he had and "could you please come home?" Guilt trip after guilt trip, Ultimatum after ultimatum.
I'm just so thankful for this board. And thank you all for letting me know I'm not alone. I've always found that important when I'm struggling...that I'm NOT CRAZY and I'm not entirely alone. Luv ya' guys! *Hugz* ~Damaged~