tiger,
We share the same story, except I left on Tgiving 2002. It was the worst day of my life but I was left no choice.
I don't have the answers but I know that exact pain your feeling, it bring tears to my eyes.
You just stay strong and go on with your day when comes home he comes home and there isn't anything you can do or say.
He is what he is and he knows what he's doing and after the fact he knows that he has hurt himself and his family.
You have to decide for yourself how much you can live with and how its affecting your well being.