Sugah - thanks for 2 wonderful posts.
"Am I an a.?" is a question you can only answer for yourself...;o)
I would say that I am an atheist. I agreed with so much in your posts, but I tend to interpret it socially rather than cosmically.
My "outside" is the world of humans, living and dead, into which I am born and which forms me. It is the language I use to think my most "personal" thoughts, but which wasn't created by me, but by millions and millions down the centuries. The "energy" is the culture and knowledge through which I understand myself and the world. Again, it's not mine but something made by others, but to which I can contribute. In every way, I can only live and survive thanks to the society in which I live, and it wouldn't be worth living in any other way.
In its good moments, AA for me is a managable little version of that.
But it's all so easy to forget.