Hi Jane.
Good post. I like your analogy of guarding a past injury in hazardous situations. That is so true for my personal alcohol addiction.
I don't believe that I was born an alcoholic, nor do I believe that I have a disease that predisposes me to make bad choices. Through my behaviour and choices over the years, I addicted myself to alcohol, therefore I was responsible. So yes, my problem drinking is my fault only. The circumstances of life can be rough for everyone, I chose to "help" make it through them by drinking.
I had the power to develop my addiction, only I have the power to curtail it. To me, powerlessness also means hopelessness. I'm delighted to have started to find that power to beat my addiction through my own behavioural choices.
Yes, I realize that controlled drinking for me is not an option. My only hope of curbing and eventually curing my addiction is through abstinence.
Being able to access information from the internet, and utilizing every resource available to me has helped tremendously.
Taking bits and pieces from here and there from different recovery programs is an option that really hasn't been available until the internet has made it so, and I believe that recovery programs will evolve and have evolved to take advantage of this in years to come. So the future does look bright.
Looking forward to reading your future posts.
Good luck and keep well
Ron