How did I get in this place that I am at? Why me?
Why not you? Why any of us? Maybe we are God's "chosen people"...He surely must have some divine plan that brought us all together...from different walks of life...from all over the world...our only common denominator being alcoholism. OK...maybe that's a bit altruistic.
All I know for certain is that we are all trying to get/stay sober, one day at a time. There are many suggested ways of doing this...I can only speak from my own experience...because AA meetings worked for me...and I can't recommend it too strongly for you, too. After 32 years of alcoholic drinking, I have been sober a little over 27 years...so, although you should continue posting here and reading the other threads (there is a lot of useful information and support here), nothing can take the place of face to face contact with other recovering alcoholics...IMHO