I'm new here but I need to know something about detachment.
My A is my spouse and he uses sex to try to control me when he comes home totally drunk. He also uses it when he is trying to "make up" with me after he has absent and drinking all weekend. When I deny him out of disgust from either him stinking of alcohol or from just plain disgust with his behavior, he becomes enraged and angry at me.
I am NOT denying the sex as punishment, I just simply cannot feel attracted by him when all of this is going on. I really would rather he just left me alone but this has always been the pattern.
I have usually given in because of his anger and then, feel so sick about it right after and go sleep on the sofa.
I think the rest of the detachment issues with him I will be able to deal with but this one...I am scared to death of his reaction.