Hello Findmyself - I can sooooo relate to what you wrote too hun. I couldnt even drive a grocery cart correctly according to my ex...lol We took our vows seriously but they did not because if they did they would realize that they are duty bound to stay as healthy as they can for their families. But with addiction - addicts have their own code of rules - their rules and only their rules apply. I remember back to 6 months before my ex left us he said to me and I quote: "Do you think a sober Wayne is going to love you any more than this drunk one?" as he sprayed the kids and I with beer....I told him we would take our chances...and he just laughed and walked out of the room...see what I mean about the scars....not just to me - I'm a big girl I can take the verbal blow...but to the kids??? Now your treading where angels fear to goooo...anyway hun..you just do what you have to do to keep your sanity for as long as you can and when it's all said and done things will change when you make them change and not a minute before.
Deax - you are right when you said you might feel differently if you had had children with your ex, or depended on him financially, or many other things...trust me the pain is the pain but the levels are different with each one of us...