deax, Yes im new here. And yes, have NEW rage. I will never take offense at what I hear in this place, because I know we are all in the same boat. I am grateful to have found this place of comfort. I am here to seek advice, and last night was here to vent, because its the only place I can. I call it NEW rage, because of going thru my daughters cancer alone (had the alcoholic 20+ years). I am signing papers tonight to refinance our mortgage, because we are in financial trouble due to medical bills. I do not know if we will be able to handle this new burden and of course as usual, he's out drinking the funds we so need to live in our home. I am having a hard time right now and am continually amazed at his cold uncaring attitude towards his family in light of our situation. I ordered all of Melody Beatties(spell) books on co-dependancy last night. I'm going back to alanon and trying to find alateen for my daughter. Thanks for listening. All of you. I appreciate everyone's words, even if I don't happen to agree with all of them. Who knows what seeds we plant now, for things that bloom in the future.