And dear former doormat, I must take a bit of exception with your cancer senerio. My daughter is recovering from cancer. She had cancer thru no fault of her own so compassion came easily. Hy AH brought this on himself. My daughter knew she was sick and went thru chemo. Even though it was hard for her, she faced it and got well. My AH knows hes sick, and he does not wish to do the work to get well. So...... the compassion is not there and I do not see the connection. If my AH was told he had cancer tomorrow, he would go get help to cure it because it involves him. He wants to live. That is an occasion he could rise to, because it his life, not me or his daughter. They (for the most part) would all go get help for cancer, because it hurts them. Thats the selfishness of all this crap.