pkavanagh welcome to the board. You will find alot of helpful information here. I am fairly new myself here and already the support that has come from this board is invaluable. I am sorry about your father....he sounds JUST like mine....sigh....I envy all the people with "normal" parents they just don't know how good they have it. I am going through a process of emotional detachment and then hopefully sometime soon when I can move(hopefully to FL) full physical/emotional seperation (no contact with my father)....I still feel alot of guilt and confliction about the decision to cut him out of my life....after all he isin't a bad guy all the time and can be quite a charming old ******* when the mood servres him right....but the bad far outweighs the good...and the harm he has caused my family is very real....yet I still feel guilt & the need to protect HIS feelings....even when he never gave a damn about mine. I'm sure lots of people can relate to that. Anyway sorry to go on a rant....welcome to the board.