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Old 12-18-2006, 07:53 PM
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embraced2000
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
good evening findmyself

i know why i stayed. i became sick, too. and it happened so slowly and gradually, that i didn't even notice till i was almost invisible.

i felt tremendous love for my husband, i knew him when he was grand. i knew him when he was kind, loving, funny, ambitious, and compassionate for life.

i just couldn't believe that the man was gone, and a stranger was in his place. i wanted to believe that he would save himself, and yes, us, from this horrible thing that happened in our life. i wanted to believe the tears streaming from his face were washing away the disease of alcoholism. i wanted to believe that the promises from his lips were as honorable as they once were....when he was grand. it tore my heart out to see this man turn into a monster from his addiction.

i stayed because i thought i could save him, since he couldn't save himself. i stayed because of love. and i left because of love. love for myself. i had to be reduced to a simple, breathing, form of human tissue, with no feelings except of misery, loss, and hopelessness, before i could fight my way back to life.....my own life.

i stayed because i believed. and i left because i understood.

love to you and all others
jeri
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