deax

I'm taking a few steps backwards and yes- asking a question that's really about him. And it's a lame question too. But I'm just trying to get my head around something...

You know how everyone always says that when an addict sees they're losing their codie, their behavior will intensify and get more extreme? Well when I first started this no contact with Rich, I saw some of this. At first he played the "I'm being a good boy and working hard on my recovery" game and checked himself into detox. Then he'd call crying cuz he was scared he needed surgery, then his birthday guilt trip he sent me on, etc.... a series of little manipulations like that. Now last I heard he's supposedly clean 45 days but I hardly believe it anymore. That was the last conversation where he told me he'd been a crackhead while we were together and I got hysterical crying and hung up on him. Haven't heard from him since.

Now that he got a new phone and lost my cell number, he called my mom's house once. And so far that's been it. He's not calling the house relentlessly, as far as I'm aware he hasn't been asking anyone in his family for my cell number, he's not showing up here (it's a 3-hour drive though), etc.... I think he'll kick things up a notch when Christmas rolls around, but I guess my question is...

Since his behavior isn't getting SO much worse, and that's what's supposed to happen, does that mean he never really loved me all that much? Yeah I know an addict can't truly love anyone, but you know what I'm getting at. Should I take and accept this as a reflection that he could kind of take me or leave me?