I am physically separated from my AW. Things just progressively got worse and I ended up leaving/boundaries because it was making me too sick, emotionally and physically. I went to a psychologist, alanon , and a local rehab center support group. I read "I'll quit tomorrow" and "Love first" (about alcoholism and dealing with it and intervention. Once I understood that alcohol is at the steering wheel and not the person inside I felt much better. Learn to not be angry. The alcoholic is akin to someone demonically posessed(recovering alcoholics have said this)
Things you can do that may help the person seek recovery are
# stop enabling
# let them feel the consequences (pain)
# boundaries
# TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. do things to separate emotionally. stop worrying about "fixing" the addict.
# don't try to "reason" with an addict. their brains are not working normally. you will get very stressed out, and very well may pull out your hair.
When the addict feels enough pain they very well may be motivated to recover.
Having children complicate things greatly. Only you can decide whether you casn stay in the situation or not.
Read pertinent posts on these forums that will help you learn a great deal.
Take care