tennchick9598

I have been taking tramadol, for about 2 years and at my peak, taking up to 30 a day, im at about 15 a day now, this drug scares the hell out of me. I feel like without it, i am not a goo enough person, not as good a lover, mother cook friend, whatever, i will actually cancel events around whether i had enough pills. I have lied to doctors pharamcists family members you name it. I have stolen money from my husband and pawned things to get money for these little "wonders" I am so fully afraid of running out that i get overwhlemed and depressed and think maybe I should just end it all and not have to worry anymore. I have truly thought that before. I would not take mine until nighttime and then take about 20 spaced over 3-5 hours for the High the euphoria, that great feeling. I went to the Dr. today, a new younger one and explained almost exactly what was going on ( i said i was taking about 12 a day) I dont know why i couldnt go all the way telling him but i didnt. He was really nice and understood, of course he wrote me a scrip for 120(no refills() with instructions to taper down(no SPECIFIC) instructions, tho. and i am to gradually introduce neurontin into my system to build up to 300 mg a day of that. How should i taper with only 120 pills left. I am sooooo afraid and would love some advice. I dont really know if i can do this, i am sooooooo DEPENDENT on this drug it is truly terrifying. im not spelling too well today, but can someone help me out, i have lots of the neurontin, and i have about 60 xanax, can anyone give me a REAL plan to follow and help me out of this prison of a bottle? Love to all and prayers to those in my shape,
ps.. I also have a bottle of about 50 xanax, and i really want this to work whats the best to do what the dr. says or the xanax or what???