Has anyone else experienced dealing with their A's lack of maturity? My sister started drinking in her mid to late teens, and I find she still acts like a teenager at the age of 38 (even after she was sober for 5 years). The way she dresses, her interests, etc, are not common for a 38 year old woman. Maybe it's all the medications she's on for her mental problems (which I fully believe were nonexistent until she started going to rehab). Will she always be like this?
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First of all, yes this happens quite often when one afflicted with alcoholism or drug addiction. Second, so that you might get a better understanding I would like to suggest you read "Under The Influence" followed by "Beyond The Influence." Both are EXTREMELY informative books.
Third I think you will find, if you do some more research on the subject that many many of us used alcohol to "self medicate" that the alcohol is but a symbol of much deeper problems. The ISM in alcoholism is often described as I, Self, Me.
As to maturing, well, it takes time, lol I started drinking in earnest at 12 years of age, and didn't get sober until 3 weeks shy of my 36th birthday. Yep I was a 12 year old in a 36 year old body, lmao. Now, 25+ years later, I figure I'm about 37 now emotionally even though my body is 61. lol
I think in the early years of recovery many of us try to make up for some of the years we lost, ie dressing much younger than our age, acting silly, our choice of music, etc etc However, as we grow and change in our recovery we do start to 'catch up'.
I personally ended up in INTENSE THERAPY with a pysch Dr at 9 years sober when my Chronic depression with intermitant periods of manic behavior became unbearable and it was then I found out some of those real deep problems I had self medicated for so many years.
Sounds to me, based on what you have shared, that your sister, with 5 years sober is doing A-OK. Sometimes, those of us on the Road Of Recovery cannot meet our own expectations yet alone the 'expectations of others.'
It's a long slow process. Might I suggest you check out Al-anon and attend at least 6 meetings before deciding whether the Fellowship can help you or not.
J M H O
Please keep posting and let us know how YOU are doing, we do care very much.
Love and hugs,