Michski said:
It doesn't matter to me whether or not there's a god or whether or not there isn't any external force that guides me. I also get exhausted with my opinions and choose to just "be". Becoming a better woman, wife, friend has had it's challenges. I think I've used every bit of information I've come across that, for me, has had that ring of truth to it.
A lot of AA has been good for me. A lot of it has been tiresome. A lot of times I left meetings wanting a drink instead of not. I'm still glad I did the 12 Steps. Because of my awesome sponsor my experience with AA was exactly what I needed to wake up and smell the roses and finally make good choices for myself. Before that experience I was drowning in a sea of victimization and I needed someone to point that out in a "no doubt about it" black and white fashion.
Yup, me too. Except perhaps for leaving meetings wanting a drink - yet..
And Paul, as for your question about whether or not I'm an agnostic - yes I am, as it happens. But the really big breakthrough for me was not from atheist to agnostic, or agnostic to believer. It was just from thinking that it mattered what I believed, to realising that, in the great scheme of things, it doesn't matter a jot.