Originally Posted by Sobermind
...I know there are people here who also have struggled or are struggling with addiction as I have; and I hope to find someone that recognizes like I have that the release of irrational thoughts and using critical thinking skills are important aspects to regaining the "spirit" and staying sober. I know most of the people on this site will disagree and will try to convince me that the opposite is true that I must give up my "self" to a non-existent higher power surrender my critical thinking and "wait for the miracle". Not a chance.
Absolutely right on Mike. Thank you for stating this for me. I've been toying with this concept for years, wrestling with an addiction that just wouldn't quit. Not until I realized, in full, without reservations, that it's my own decision, my own choice, my own critical thinking, that is in charge of any and every decision I make, was I able to proceed in moving myself beyond this cyclical holding pattern I've kept myself in for nearly 2 decades. It's all still mighty hazy on this side, looking out, but with the help and clarity and support of my friends (and I don't mean of chemical origin) I'm seeing what I need to do, and amazingly, I'm doing it.
Originally Posted by justicej
Community...can be more powerful than you and be your source of higher power
. Indeed. It's entirely self-realization dependent, through allowing external input inside. There is no God directing me to this, it's of my own accord.
Doorknob, Windysan. Good to see you. I've been away. Contemplating. Which way to go. True what you say about tolerence, but one need not trip every day, every week, even every month, to be consumed in thinking of them, obsessed by their powerful allure of retreat/ escape, every day, nearly all day. It wasn't until just the past couple days, when the idea of going back was put directly to the test, that I realize for the first time that I truly don't want to go back to them. To go back would be major retreat, a major step backward into submission, into self-denial, into all that complacency and giving up the "spirit" of life that I'm just now beginning to taste, and I find this potential for freedom of mind so deliciously compelling. I mean, I do trust it's gotta taste better than mushrooms growing out of cow pies...yes?