Honey, don't beat yourself up. I take it this was one your first attempts at a relationship in sobriety, right? Many of us have to go through the same thing: not knowing what a healthy person looks like, we're naturally attracted to the crazed wacko's we've always gone for. She was part of the learning experience, and next time you'll know what not to choose...or the next time, or the time after that, or the time after that......we addict/alcoholics are pretty hardheaded when it comes to seeing those big flashing neon signs that the rest of humanity avoids. Give yourself as break, you're not alone!