ohmigod ****{german69}}}
i am so sorry. glad you came here for help. i know you've been dealing with some pretty heavy stuff. get some sleep. take care of yourself. when you finally surface, get some help. find a meeting. call a friend. get a counselor. you can do it. don't beat yourself up too much--this is a disease and you can beat it. your husband is doing what he feels he needs to do at this time. you can work on that later. work on yourself now. please take good care. pm me if you need anything. i am out for a good part of the day--actually heading to my saturday morning meeting right now--but will be back this evening.