prodigal

I read a book years ago by a psychiatrist (Dr. Ted Rubin) that had an entire chapter addressing "money issues." In our society, money is power (at least to a lot of folks), and it has meaning way beyond being an object exchanged for another object: "I'll give you $10 if you sell me your used bicycle."

Money oftentimes equates to control. You know your daughter well, I do not. But something tells me, on a gut level, that this is a control issue with her. Almost as if she refuses to give into - or even acknowledge - your request that she return the money. Regardless of whether she was ignoring your request for the money, a return phone call, or whatever, the point is you are hurt that she is failing to acknowledge your request.

However, I am stubborn when it comes to money matters (got that from my mom). Your daughter misused, without your immediate knowledge or permission, YOUR money. She could have misused your cellphone, your car, your furniture, or anything else. The point is feelings are involved here in addition to a material object. It's your money, you worked for it and earned it, and she is disrespecting it. Thus, she is disrespecting you.

I'm usually pretty live-and-let-live when it comes to how people conduct their lives. After all, it is none of my business. But there is something about money that gets me up on my soapbox. Please keep in mind that this is my own bias talking here.

You have to do what feels right for you. If confronting her face-to-face works for YOU, by all means do it. If waiting for a certain period of time works, do it. If sending her a monthly bill works, do it. I'm just shooting my mouth off because money is a REAL hot-button issue with me.