Why do you need to wait until hubby does something outrageous before you make a move towards a happier life? Isn't being an emotionally unavailable and verbally abusive addict who finds fault with everything you do enough?
Waiting for "something outrageous" to happen is a form of denial--a way for codependents to avoid making a difficult change--much in the same way that an alcoholic says to himself, "I'm not a passing-out-on-the-floor type of drunk, so I don't need to change."
You'll only drive yourself crazier and add to your misery by going behind your husband's back and counting his antabuse pills to see if he's been taking them regularly. Observing his actions will yield the same information without breaching his trust and further eroding your relationship.