To this day, AH and I remember different incidents differently. It's really no wonder though as AH was usually drunk, hungover, or something.
I remember that one of my biggest complaints was that he'd just wake up the next day as though nothing ever happened. There were times when I'd tell him what was said and he'd deny it or remember it differently. There were times that he'd make it out that I was the crazy one - or he'd say that I was blowing something up bigger than it was - etc.
But you know, I remember times too when AH would admit that he had a problem. He'd admit that he was in the wrong, etc. These phases were what I came to term as "suck up mode" though because he was sorry and would try to make it up to me, only to go out and do it again.
While I do know other men that do this - act like nothing is wrong and act as though they are trying to start the new day out fresh - I have to say that I don't believe it's a "man thing" at all. I think that it's a form of denial. As was mentioned above, if you don't talk about it, and he acts fine, you accept it and act fine, it must be okay, right?
Why he's pretending?
So he can stay in his denial of his problem.
Why he's showing me that I am who needs help?
If he blames you - you become the one with the problem, not him. And you will continue to lose self esteem, which helps his addiction in the blame game.
My question is, does he knows why I am feeling this way?or just pretending beacuse he doesn't want to know the truth?
Yes, he absolutely knows why. And no, he doesn't want to know the truth of it being because of his actions causing your feelings - or he'd be held responsible in dealing with his addiction and what he's doing.