I have to agree.... you definately got out alot of emotion in the post... I too hope you feel better and have a better day today.
I have gotten that angry before.... My Mother was the first Alcoholic in my life and I got stuck in that anger for 10 years so I know how you feel.
First .. though I know you feel like it now......
I'm so weak and pathetic to let someone come into my life and pretend he was something that he is not!
Please dont do this to yourself.... You are not weak or pathetic. How does it have anything to do with you if another person pretends he is something that he is not. I dont know about you but my crystal ball is broken, I have no way to tell in the future how someone will treat me. What I can do is learn the red flags and pay attention to them.
I have read so many posts on this blog and we all have the same common denominator, and that is we gave our heart, soul and mind to an alcoholic.
Remember this is only my opinion...... but this sounds like very codependant behavior to me. Dont take me wrong I do it all the time, give my heart, mind and soul away. What I found true for me is the reason I get so hurt is because I should not have given this too them in the first place... Share my heart ... sure.... but Mind and Soul.... not.... my mistake and of course an A will take advantage, heck they need codies to continue there addictions and keep things going.
Most of the time when Im so angry ... it cuz Im angry with myself, I did everything under the moon after my breakup with my ex-abf to "get on with my life" but since then I have discovered that the same thing will happen over and over (not only in SO relationships) until I change how I think and respond.
I know its hard, Im not there yet but I can clearly see the road now so... Progress not perfection.