I'm not sure of a few things. This is the first time being two years sober. I think recovery must come in stages. I feel as if I'm must be in an unfamiliar stage.
Is it normal to drift away from a program after a while? I see myself drifting away. I can't see myself attending meetings 10 years done the road. I may be eating my words later. I just don't know. There will be those hard core AA'ers who will tell me I am heading down a dangerous path. I think it will be okay though. Have I established a strong enough foundation where I can venture out on my own with still practicing the general steps and principles of AA. If I want to be honest with myself, that last sentence is a pretty much a contradiction in itself.
Of course, my sobriety comes first. If I feel myself heading into trouble I know where to find meetings. Right now, I feel as if it isn't the meetings that are keeping me sober, but my desire to stay sober. I also feel my time spent here reconfirms my vulnerability to alcohol. That is not in question. I may be fooling myself. I know that is how alcoholism plays with our minds.
I don't play with ideas of drinking in my head. I know that is not the answer. So do I continue to go to meetings? That is the question I ask myself. I go at this time because I made a commitment, not because I desire to. I will say that once I get there, most times, I leave feeling uplifted and a feeling of unity. I am pretty much uncertain with where I am heading with AA.
Anyone else experience this after a couple years?