WHAT IS REBT?
Excerpted from the web site of the Albert Ellis Institute, rebt . org
[REBT = Rational Emotional Behavioral Therapy]
REBT places a good deal of its focus on the present: on currently-held attitudes, painful emotions and maladaptive behaviors that can sabotage a fuller experience of life.
• But don't you need to uncover the past in order to really understand people's problems?
… we may be strongly influenced by events in early life. … But the past is with us in the form of beliefs that we carry in our head in the present. … we can change how we let the past influence the way we are today and the way we want to be tomorrow.
• I've heard that REBT tries to do away with negative emotions altogether by making people think logically and objectively. Is that true?
… REBT emphasizes the involvement of emotions in just about every aspect of our thinking and actions. REBT proposes that when our negative emotions become too intense (e.g., rage, panic, or depression), not only do we feel very unhappy, but our ability to manage our lives begins to deteriorate.
• But aren't feelings such as anger and anxiety normal and appropriate?
Of course! But it is the quality of feelings that is important. Experiencing intense irritation and displeasure when things go wrong can motivate you to change frustrating conditions. Feelings of rage, on the other hand, often [lead you] to act in ways that are impulsive and self-defeating.
• With REBT's emphasis on reducing emotional upsets in the face of unfairness or misfortune, doesn't it encourage the preservation of the status quo? (Not to mention take away energy to make things better?)
One of REBT's favorite maxims (first expressed by Reinhold Neibuhr) is: "Grant me the courage to change the things I can change, the serenity to accept those that I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference." REBT seeks to empower individuals both by helping them more effectively handle their own painful emotions, and by enabling them to change their own behavior and improve their world where possible.
• With all this emphasis on "me," doesn't REBT encourage selfishness? Don't we already have too much selfishness in this world?
… REBT teaches what Albert Ellis calls the value of rational self-acceptance. According to Ellis, healthy people are usually glad to be alive and accept themselves just because they are alive and have some capacity to enjoy themselves. They refuse to measure their intrinsic worth by their extrinsic accomplishments, materialistic possessions and by what others think of them. They frankly choose to accept themselves unconditionally; and then try to completely avoid globally rating themselves—meaning their totality or their "essence." They attempt to enjoy rather than prove themselves. Thus, rather than acting out of selfishness, they learn to operate from responsible self-interest.
• Does REBT force its own beliefs about what's rational on people?
REBT defines rational beliefs as those which help people live satisfying, healthy, and fulfilled lives.
--rational self-acceptance—which involves people giving up the self-rating game—seems to help people significantly reduce anxiety and increase feelings of self-acceptance.
--high frustration tolerance, which encourages people to accept (not like) life's hardships and other people's imperfections, leads to greater perseverance, patience, and the ability to get along with others.
• By emphasizing the individual's beliefs and values and eliminating "shoulds," isn't REBT incompatible with religious values?
… when people impose rigid expectations on themselves, other people, and the world they are likely to experience unnecessary emotional distress. In REBT, these expectations are expressed as absolutistic "shoulds," "oughts," and "musts."
…. REBT advocates instead a more preferential system of values: one which encourages people to work toward their professional goals, but never to condemn and damn themselves when they fail to achieve them. In a similar way, REBT is useful in helping people from diverse religious backgrounds to be more self-accepting, as well as more accepting of other people who may not share their particular values.
• REBT makes sense, but I can't seem to apply it to myself—I understand it "intellectually," but not "emotionally."
[The] goal is no less than changing core irrational beliefs that you've spent your whole life rehearsing, living, and "feeling." For many people, it takes some time before the emotional "gut" follows what their head already "knows." … The positive aspect of the strain you may experience in using REBT is that it shows you are learning new ways of feeling and behaving and that you are taking charge of your own direction in life.