blizzard77

I came home from work today at 5pm and AH is still sleeping. I look around the house and nothing has been done. He has to be at work at 6:00pm. I get codie mad and before you know it give him one of my disgusted looks. He knows what I mean so he says "what" and I say " Man you've got major problems, I just don't think you can be helped."
Well let me tell you he tried to push every button he could think of and nothing was working. Then he says you won't have to worry about me anymore, not that you give a f@#$ anyway. So I say are you planning on leaving? He says yes " I would've killed myself last night in the garage but I didn't have enough gas. He's never used this card before so I say: "that's pretty selfish considering you have three children that love you and it's the easy way out." " You have all of the tools at your disposal such as AA meetings, The Big book,The 12 and 12 book and all of the information you obtained from your 28day rehab stay, you just don't want to do the WORK."
He than starts saying how "he's just so thrilled with AA and alanon, there's a guy I went to see a couple of times who has made me a little uncomfortable. Just a gut feeling, so I told my husband I wasn't going to see him again 1:1 besides he's charging people money to hep them work the steps (he's a 20 yr RAH and retired therapist) and I just think it's unethical since a sponsor can do the same thing for free. AH agrees. Nothing has been mentioned on the subject until today and that conversation took place two weeks ago. Now he's saying " there's a guy in alanon trying to f$%# my wife, I can't make my wife happy no matter what I do and yesterday when you decided you wanted to have sex (haven't in 6 weeks or more), I can't get an erection.
OK, the guy he's refering to in alanon is 70 yrs old, has has 2 heart attacks, hip replacements (not my type LOL). I told him I was no longer seeing him 1:1 and haven't seen him at any of the meetings I've gone to in the past two weeks (I know which ones he goes to and avoid them). As far as the sex situation was concerned I was more than understanding, I kept telling him not to worry, that's it's OK. It's probably just in his mind. We've been spending time apart to work on ourselves and there has been no intimacy, I understand and it's ok. I tell himnot to worry about it. It dosen't make me think less of him as a man, infact it shows me he really does have feelings. So I tell him let it go. Well, I guess he didn't. Then he say's " there's no telling how many guys are hitting on you or how many you're hitting on. I've been staying out of the crazy irrational talk until this. Then I remind him that I have never cheated on anyone ever in any relationship I've been in (he has) but I don't say this. The he says as he's getting ready to leave, "I hate my job, hate my life just want it all to end." I again bring up how selfish a thing to say especially for a man who has three beautiful healthy children. He says "I got give a S#@$ about them, why should I no one cares about me."
Amazingly enough I was calm the entire time which is opposite my "usual" reaction to such things.
I see this for what it is but I need your help. I need people to remind me what it is he's doing or trying to do to me because at this point that guilt is rearing it's ugly head trying to make me believe that I am responsible for how he feels, what he does or doesn't do, that he hates his job and want's to end his life or so he says. I can't let my feelings of guilt creep in, it will ruin all the progress I've made thus far. Please, I need reminders and support.