Thread: big question
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Old 08-17-2006, 12:44 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
ASpouse
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Sussex, NJ
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Originally Posted by cocoa
The last couple days have been horrible. Let me explain. Tuesday my AH was very drunk. I went to pick him up from work, and he was not there. He was down the street at the local store getting a bottle, from what I understand it was his 3rd trip there in about 2 hours. He was very incoherant. Anyway it took me about 10 min. to get him to the car, and then when we got home, I could not lift him up to get him inside. Okay I know this is the co-dependent part. Finally I left him there, rolled down the windows, and took the keys, it was a very hot day, so I could not help but think what if he has a heat stroke, especially in his condition. Okay so after about 45 min. I see the door open, but not him, he fell in the street too weak to get up. A neighbor helped me get him in the house.During this whole nightmare. Hes very seriously telling me he needs help, he cant do it on his own. I'm thinking hes drunk, lets wait and see about tomorrow. We get through the night of moaning, and crying out in his sleep. The next day, he's still very intoxicated, but now hes going through withdraw. I hate seeing my husband like this. We cried and talked all day. He told me again he needs help, he needs to get back into AA. I soooooo agree. My question is am I being co-dependent by helping him get help, even if hes asking me. Or is this justified in being there for my husband?I also want to tell you, I just got the book, co-dependent no more. I'm starting to read it now.
I think the entire episode is very co-dependent.

I have no opinion on whether you should help him or not. My husband begged me sobbing and I refused to help him, I wouldn't lift a finger to help him. He found a way to get himself the help he needed. But that's just me, most people think that's very cruel what I did. What I do know is that he is recovering 3 years now after 35 years of drinking. I think it means more if they do it themselves.
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