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Old 08-16-2006, 07:54 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Bobbybanned
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Join Date: Jul 2006
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Posts: 54
Originally Posted by equus
Bobby - what you've written has really made me think - I grew up 'out' of a dysfunctional family. What happened around me happened and in those times I sheltered inside myself, but my growing up took place outside of family life.

I've been giving this lots of thought because I definately grew in an unusual circumstance - most of my time was spent in shared space, a very old, very basic cafe. Where I slept was seperated from the lodgers living room by a single door - they heard my life and likewise I heard theirs. I neither knew nor missed privacy. My existance was utterly shared but I was also very aware of myself as an individual making choices, what I saw amongst people fascinated me, what I saw amongst stray and latch key dogs fascinated me. My awareness of myself was as watcher, learner, child, survivor, and sausage giver (to the dogs!!).

Once taking part in the groups 'me' wasn't watcher anymore - that singular identity dissolved into 'we'.

I think I have spent many years wondering about this, I'm not satisfied with my own answers and as yet I'm not satisfied by the answers that have been suggested to me. One thing I know for sure is collective thought surrounds us and defines huge chunks of our lives - I believe that to be the case regardless of whether it's acknowledged.
Equus,
One of the things that makes you incredible, along with many members of these forums, is your curiosity and ideas, surrounding not only fascinating, but important subject matter. What you pointed out above, in contrast to what I was (more or less) pointing out in my previous post, seems to demonstrate to us the difference between general consideration (limited to a single perspective, but understanding there are many) and a more specific, individual experience, providing an additional perspective. I am sorry for being vague, but this is actually quite a vast consideration. there are so many variables that present possibilities and all of them have their own credibility.
I will say this, as an attempt to add something worthwhile, in response to what is written above. Do you suppose, while you were the 'me', the watcher, you were actually still part of the group? Just with a different role in terms of contribution and benefactor? Even as witnesses, we are still there and very much part of the group as the influence still takes place. Rather it could even be considered positive or negative influence would be beside the point, if it is actually occurring. We give and we take at different speeds all the time. Our participation and contribution take place even if we choose to stay in doors and be a hermit, because I suppose that in itself would have its own consequence, rather it be subtle or not. The entire concept, I wonder, I also suggest, may be entirely circular. The group and the individual constantly feeding off one another as both are necessary for the survival of the other. This could really get deep. As I begin thinking about the ways this could branch out I feel inadequate to provide worthwhile insight. However, I am grateful for the topic as I have enjoyed thinking about it. As an individual, I do so like this group.
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