Originally Posted by equus
Don't feel guilty! It wasn't you that caused this - remeber that. Start at the begining, find out what you need to know THEN decide what feels right for you.
I haven't had chance to read the above yet but I will. You didn't do this - don't feel guilt and you're SO NOT ALONE.
Thanks Eq. I forgot to thank you for the link to the head injury site earlier also. I checked it out yesterday, and it is very informative. I just went back after having read his sister's e-mail again, and it seems head injuries and the resulting damages can be sketchy at best sometimes. Two people can have damage to the same area and have different deficits - of course the various damages correlating with the functions that area of the brain regulates. I wish I had access to his medical records! The hospitals charge like 10 or 15 dollars a page for copies! Too bad, because I'm really good at reading medical terminology (almost a second language, though it's been awhile), and have access to lots of medical books. They're almost unnecessary now, with all the info available online. Between the knowledge I have and the resources available, I'm sure I could string it all together nicely.
I was asking him a lot of questions this morning - he seemed suspicious.
Maybe I could ask his PCP to request his medical records, or to refer him to a neurologist who can get them. An MRI would be a huge bonus; I don't think those were an available diagnostic tool in 1984. I doubt he could get a referral unless he was having some kind of problem though (besides drinking - like seizure activity, chronic headaches, stroke symptoms, etc.) and an MRI would be like pulling teeth (they almost always start with CT scans - HMOs, you know).
Still - all things considered - he's held the same full-time job for the past 10 years, and other than the drinking (which has worsened since his emphysema diagnosis), has exhibited total capability for leading an almost normal life.
It's those sketchy, potentially hidden problems that give me doubts. I hate this. I feel like if I left him and he had a seizure and died because there was no one here, I would never be able to live with myself for not having uncovered all the facts. Yes, I care about him.