Welcome, meme! (((HUGS))) too. The amazing thing I know now, is that there is definitely a place where you can feel good about what you are doing and saying. When we finally learn to LET GO and LET GOD, it's a great BIG relief. I like turning the A's problem over to GOD.
Maybe say over and over, "I am letting go". Or the old rubber band trick, put one on your wrist and pop it when you are tempted to FIX or worry over the A to the detriment of your own growth, needs and nuturing.
And, making a list about what's wonderful and good about yourself is a great idea suggested in another post. Keep focused upon YOU. Take good care of you.
"Keep coming back. It works!"